The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize