you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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