Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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