You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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