everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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