Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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