By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
