so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize