only if we run a train.
done.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize