I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
