HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
