I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
