Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
