we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
