if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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