he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
