I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
