he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize