Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
