just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
