Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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