We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
