woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
do nipples grow back?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
