we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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