you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
