omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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