she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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