Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
