you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Randomize
