He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
