All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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