What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
