But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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