we made out on top of his cat.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
