Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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