She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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