Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
