first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I need moral support for this bender
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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