I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize