suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
