We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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