the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
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At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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