Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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