Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
