I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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