shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
