How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
