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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
