i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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