you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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