i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
