so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
