I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
