Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
