he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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